It's amazing
how sometimes, one phone call can change your entire perspective on something,
and Sharilyn and I were privileged to have received just such a call a few
weeks ago.
It was a
Monday morning when I received a text from a mutual friend of ours, asking if
our casket was available. The timing of this message was so incredible. We had
just had our weekly meeting the night before. At the end of it, I know we were
both feeling a little overwhelmed and frustrated. Running a not for profit like
this can be a little daunting, there is so much that we want to do, and so many
that we want to help. This all takes a lot of money though, and it's been a
challenge to raise the funds necessary to get the casket construction up and
running.
However, this
message from our friend made us realize a few things. Mostly, that we need to
define exactly what we do and who we do it for. Previously, our goal was to
make our caskets available for families who had lost an infant within the first
6 months of life. Well, our friend was reaching out to us on behalf of a family
who's baby had passed at 7 months old. When she told me the story, my heart
ached for this family. This has always been a very personal venture for us, far
more for Sharilyn and her family though. But that day, September 10, my own son
was exactly 7 months old. When I looked at him smiling at me, I began to cry.
Her baby was one month older than our age limit, but I wanted so much to reach
out to that mother, who ever she was, and hug her. I wanted to comfort her for
her loss. How could I think about a woman who had lost a child, a baby, and do
nothing to help? Regardless of whether he was 6 months, 7 months or 2 years
old, there was something inside of me that could not let this go, and neither
could Sharilyn.
As we
talked about our options and what we could do to help this family, we
decided to take a break, each of us think about what would be appropriate and
wait for more news from our friend. We
didn't have a casket ready to go and I was so frustrated with myself for not
having done more to push the foundation forward. For not having fought so hard
to find the thousands of dollars to be able to be ready to offer more for this
family. I was angry and disappointed in myself. I never wanted this venture to
be something that would let someone down. That was my biggest fear with
starting this is that at some point, some family would be hurt because we
weren't ready or able to help them when they needed it the most. I felt like
that is exactly what I would do if we didn't do SOMETHING to help. I just couldn't articulate what needed to be
done, but kept getting the prompting of,
"Don't let this opportunity pass."
When
Sharilyn called that afternoon, she had more news about the family , and the
insight that was dancing around in my head but couldn't find. She asked simply, "What if we changed
our mission? There are a lot of other expenses involved in a funeral that we
can help with, even if we aren't ready for the caskets yet.". It sounds so
simple, but it was truly a beautiful moment. It was the direction and clarity
that we have needed for so long.
In a matter of hours, our frustration at not being able to
do more was shifted to a more purposeful, directed mission that would allow us
to help so many more, so much faster. We were humbled by this experience to
help this family. I wish I could have been with her when Sharilyn met this
wonderful mother who had given her baby seven beautiful months of life. While
we grieve with her for her loss, we thank her for the opportunity to open our
foundation to change and grow and see the mission that we can better fulfill
now.
Best wished to all,
Mindy
Best wished to all,
Mindy
